You Selfish Son of a B*tch

 on the guy who jumped off of Spaghetti Junction yesterday at exactly 5PM! You knew you wanted to commit suicide earlier that day but for some asinine reason you waited until rush hour on one of the most busiest intersections in the United States! You pisshead!!!! I don't know what you were experiencing, but I'm sure you coulda experienced it at Noon and not to mention you coulda killed yourself off any dam bridge for that matter! Got Dammit had you not died I woulda killed you my dam self! 

The Bathroom Man

I don't know how u would apply for this job or if a random guy just goes in there, but I say hail to the guy who pours soap in your hand, the guy who sprays a little cologne on you, the guy who sells you a blunt when you need it, the guy who keeps a pack of gum to mask your lack of sobriety, u know him as the bathroom guy! You make going to take a piss in the club worthwhile. Thanks for making sure my hygiene is in tact. While I'm in the club trying to grab a few ladies, you lodge yourself off in the bathroom with drunken shitheads cleaning up earl!!! You deserve a tip!!